


Broken

by JadeAvici



Series: When I Count My Blessings [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Chronic Pain, Domestic Clarke, Domestic Lexa, Drug Use, F/F, Fluff, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sex, Sexual Content, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Stress, Veteran Anya, Veteran Lexa, Veteran Lincoln, Veteran Octavia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-10-16
Packaged: 2018-07-28 09:07:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7634344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeAvici/pseuds/JadeAvici
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa and Clarke have been together almost two years now. Everything on the surface seems to be just perfect. After a new promotion and an on the job incident the stress, secrets, and small imperfections might just ruin everything. Lexa knows she's broken and doesn't realize Clarke wants to help fix her. Question is....Will there be anything left to fix?</p><p>This is the second work in the series When I Count My Blessings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

_ “I don’t think this Celebratory sex was a bad thing…” _

Lexa could hear Clarke’s sweet hearted laugh as if that moment was just yesterday but in reality it had been almost two years ago. The two year mark only months away, leaning back in the passenger seat of the security car smiling to herself. 

“Earth to Lexa. Are you even listening to a word I said?” 

Lexa shook her head and turned her attention back toward the driver seat, her sister-in-law rolling her eyes, “Jesus Lexa. I was asking if you and Clarke were coming over for dinner tomorrow? I think you guys can spend your day off by doing more than just fucking.” 

Lexa chuckled, “Not my fault our days off being the same day are rare and spent well.”

“You two fuck more than rabbits. When was the last time you used your day off to go get some sun? You’re starting to turn pale. Next thing you know we’re going to look more related than you and your actual siblings.” 

Lexa turned her attention back to the paperwork on the clipboard in her lap she finished jotting down a few more words, “There I finished our report on the incident. Kids are getting stupid. Who tries to fight armed Security?”

“Stop trying to change the subject. Dinner with me and your brother tomorrow.”

“Hmmm….I wonder how Anya is doing.”

“Lexa you and I both know she’s on a date with her mystery woman. Focus. Other wise I’m going to call Clarke, put it through the car speakers and ask her myself.” 

Lexa sighed throwing up her hands in subtle defeat, “Fine. Yes. We’ll go. Hell I’ll even bring a bottle of booze.”

“We have enough wine but hard liquor is always appreciated.”

The rest of the ride back to the office was handled with silence for the most part, they would joke around occasionally or even discuss upcoming jobs or plans. After showering and changing the two would always walk each other to their cars, say their goodbyes while promising to text the other when they arrived home and they would go their separate ways. A few months after Lexa and Clarke had become official and after Clarke moved in, her brother had announced that Him and Octavia had gotten their own little place near the beach, Anya had also told the family she was moving to be closer to the woman she had been seeing. Nothing was known about the woman except that she was a whizz with mechanics and engineering. Clarke would always bring up after that topic that her friend Raven was seeing someone recently who vaguely fit Anya’s description but it was never confirmed or denied before the topic got changed. 

Sighing Lexa reached down to her right knee and removed the slim all black brace. Octavia and Clarke knew her body wasn’t holding up to well at the moment but they never knew the full story. Lexa had made Abby swear to secrecy, even more so since Clarke was working full time as a nurse at the clinic until her Doctorate was finished.  

Lexa’s knees where becoming a bit more temperamental along with her once good hip going to shit. Lexa used to say her left hip was the good child, never hurt, never talked back and that her right was the bastard step child. But lately….that was different story. The medicine had stopped working a year ago and the pain was only growing worse. It was getting to the point where Lexa was thinking about cutting her hours, she had already stopped going to the gym all but two days a week, hell her and Abby were even talking about her getting more surgery to try and correct whatever was going wrong. It was killing her, not telling Clarke, but she knew her girlfriend would worry. 

Plus Clarke had been stressing out of her tests and finishing school, she didn’t want to distract her. It was tough enough when Clarke was not only doing school for her doctorate but for nursing so she could move up from just a temp position for her mother to a more permanent one. Clarke had told her something about it being able to multitask jobs, be one with the common people, and establish trust since she knew her mother was going to leave the clinic in her hands one day anyway. Lexa didn’t understand the politics of it, she was just glad her girlfriend was happy, she kept things simple like that. A familiar ringtone broke through the silence of her ride, 

“Hey baby!” 

Clarke’s voice was chipper, must have been a good day at work, 

“Hey. I’m halfway to the apartment. Want me to pick up anything before I pass the store?” 

“.....No, I made dinner and I have a few movies we can watch to unwind, I’ll even help rub out the knot in your back if you put up with the overly romantic ones”

Lexa smiled, Octavia must have casually let it slip to Clarke that it wasn’t the best of days for Lexa. Funny...normally a bad day would mean trouble at work, general lack of luck, but for her a bad day was how much pain she was in. It meant she couldn’t move like she used to, everything ached, or maybe the pain was just being one hell of a nasty bitch.    
Lexa was going to have to remind Octavia to not give her girlfriend heads up when it wasn’t a major thing, 

“Lexa? You still there?” 

“Huh...yeah sorry bit distracted tonight. Long day. Movies sound good. I’m going to be pulling up soon. You pick the first one and start it.”

“You don’t want me to wait?”

“Mhmm...depends on the movie.”

“I bought the new Batman movie..”

“.....you better wait for me.”

“oops….I accidently pressed play. Too late can’t stop it now.”

“No fair!”

“You told me to start the movie without you.”

“That was before you told me it was Dawn of Justice! Pause it I’m getting out of the car now!”

Lexa didn’t wait for a response, hanging up the call and grabbing her work and gym bag she jogged as fast as she could up the stairs to their apartment. 


	2. Bad Feeling

As she opened the door Lexa immediately threw her gym bag near the door, “You better have paused it!” 

Clarke’s laughter was the only sound in the apartment besides the menu screen music of the movie. The blonde was in the kitchen with a beer bottle in one hand and the remote in the other, “What are you talking about Lexa? I haven’t even started it.”

Lexa shut the door behind her laughing, “You suck, you made me run all the way from the car up to here.”

“You ran up here yourself, babe, go shower. I’ll warm up some food if you want for when you get out.” 

Lexa crossed into the kitchen and placed a kiss on Clarke’s forward before taking a swig of her girlfriends beer, “Me and Octavia ate at work….but if you want you can join me in the shower? I distinctly remember someone promising to help work the knot out of my back.” 

Clarke took her beer back and smiled as she placed her lips on the rim, “I’ll let you think about it…” Lexa winked as she turned around and headed to the bathroom down the hall.    
As soon as she shut the door Lexa sighed, her shoulders sagging and her smile fading. Steam slowly rose from the warm shower and dissipated as it touched the ceiling. Her body groaned as she slowly shed her clothes, part of Lexa was grateful Clarke hadn’t taken up her offer yet she didn't want her girlfriend to see her in this moment. Defeated, broken, and tired.

What made matters worse was the new assignment her and Octavia were supposed to be taking, the two were hired to help provide extra security at the doors of a music festival in a week or so. Funny enough it was a festival that her girlfriend planned to be at on her summer break from school, her work was nice enough to give her that week off too. 

As she stepped into the warm spray of water the door opened, smiling and looking out of the corner of her eye she saw Clarke in the doorway, “I thought you weren’t going to take me up on the offer Clarke.”

“Well I already showered...but I’m not one to break my promises.”

Feeling bare breast press into her back Lexa leaned back into the embrace, ease filling her and driving the stress away. Lexa closed her eyes as she felt Clarke’s hands begin to rub at the knots in her back and trace the outlines of her abs.

When Lexa woke up she was in the bed wearing just basketball shorts, her arm draped around Clarke who was still sound asleep. Her heart was still pounding out of her chest, trying to remember what had startled her awake Lexa sat up. Rubbing the back of her neck and sighing, “Just stress…..”

“...Mhm?”

Lexa froze feeling Clarke roll over. Her girlfriend’s hand rubbing small, lazy circles on her lower back, “ Lexa….you okay?” 

“Just stress…”

Clarke sighed and slowly sat up placing a kiss on Lexa’s shoulder, “About the job?”

“No...I just have a bad feeling...it’s stressing me out.”

Clarke kiss her girlfriend's shoulder again, “Well...You’re okay, I’m okay. You’re home...safe.”

Lexa couldn’t help smiling, she didn’t deserve Clarke. Even if the girl was half asleep and not truly coherent her words made sense. Lexa was home, she was safe and there at this moment in time was no reason to stress. Lexa turned her head and kissed Clarke, the smaller girl moaned, and sat up a bit more. 

Lexa smiled into the kiss as she shifted her weight, placing one leg on either side of Clarke’s hips straddling her. The blonde’s hips bucked up slightly and Lexa ground hers down, deepening the kiss as small hands tangled themselves in her hair pulling her down. This moment wasn’t passionate, or lazy, it was safe. The warmth of the room, the way Clarke moaned her name. It was love...it was safe and Lexa could feel her stress even if it was just for a few hours melt away into nothing. The stress was gone but the feeling in the back of her mind, the gut wrenching feeling of something bad happening was never gone. Pushed further back in her mind yes, but Lexa knew there was no possible way of making this feeling go away. Not until whatever it was trying to warn against had arrived. 

The next morning Lexa woke to the smell of coffee and the sound of Clarke singing to a song on the radio, checking her phone Lexa noticed a text from Octavia and her siblings that seemed to confirm the feeling that had been eating at her. 

**Octavia:(01:00am)** _ Hey, Lexa….I don’t know why but I’m nervous about that job next week. It’s a bigger job than normal. We should see if Linc and Anya want to volunteer to work it as well. _

**Anya:(06:00am)** _ Sis, Octavia texted me last night. I’ll talk to Mt. Weather today see if they can put me on the roster for the job. Seem’s like the gang is back together. _

**Lincoln:(07:00am)** _Leska, I got put onto the job roster. Another medic is always helpful for these events. Also, might have to cancel the next few days of workout. You and I should both rest ourselves for the job._

“Anything interesting going on?”

Lexa looked up from her phone to see Clarke entering the room wearing an oversized shirt and hair in a ponytail, “Yeah We’re still on for dinner with Octavia and my brother also it looks like the whole team is working together next week.”

“Next week? Are you still going to be able to come with me to the Dead Zone festival?”

“Well….yes but I’ll be working there.”

Clarke was silent for a moment, “So will you get in trouble if I dance with you while you’re working?” 

Lexa laughed, “Possibly but I guess I don’t care if I do.” 

The two laughed and laid back down in bed together, acting as if the day was never ending and that they didn’t have to get ready for dinner in a few hours. Life for Lexa was getting better and in moments as innocent as these she forgot she was broken. In these moments she was gluing herself back together and becoming whole. 


	3. three

“Did you really agree to having dinner with them tonight?” Clarke groaned as Lexa had pulled herself away from the blonde’s embrace under the covers. 

“Yes, now if we back out now I won’t hear the end of this for years. Plus apparently Lincoln invited Anya and her mystery lady friend.” 

Clarke sat up, “Wait...really? Cause Octavia texted me that Raven was coming to with a plus one…” 

Lexa laughed, “You don’t think?” 

Clarke shook her head, “No there’s no way. Neither of them are each other’s type. The last crush Raven had on a chick was on my mother in high school….” 

The pants in Lexa’s hand fell to the floor, “On Abby?! I mean I know your mom is a bit of a MILF but….” 

“Be careful about your next choice of words.” 

“But… I think my choice in the Griffin women was much better plus, she’s like a second mom to me.” 

Clarke laughed, “You’re lucky I love you, you know that right?” 

“Of course. Now get your pants on otherwise Octavia is going to kill us both.” Lexa walked over and gave Clarke a quick kiss before leaving their bedroom and heading outside to the car. 

When the pair arrived at Lincoln and Octavia’s, Lexa noticed that Anya’s car was there along with Raven’s which Clarke had pointed out. No one extra seemed to be there tonight, sometimes Bellamy was known to show up with his boyfriend or girlfriend that week but tonight didn’t seem to be one of those nights. “Nervous?” 

Lexa was pulled back into reality, shaking her head, “No. Why would I be?” 

“Because when was the last time you saw Anya? Or the last time you actually sat down at a ‘family’ dinner as Octavia puts it.”

“Few months. I’ve been busy at work.” 

“Lexa….”

“Clarke...not now please. I don’t need you to go into doctor mode.”

“You’re limping, it's hard for me to not notice it.”

Lexa should have known better than to try and play it off anymore, Clarke was right she was limping but because it was such a normal thing now a days it hadn’t registered to her, “Clarke, I’m fine. It’s just a bit stiff because it’s colder out here than home. The breeze from the beach and the moisture in the air.”

Clarke sighed resting her head on Lexa’s shoulder, “Fine. But if it gets to be too painful let me know. We can leave okay?’’

“Ok.”

As they entered the home Octavia was the first to run up to them followed by the protests from Anya and who Lexa could only assume Raven. “Well nice of you guys to finally show up. So Commander remember how we had bets on Anya’s mystery woman. Lincoln owes you and me twenty bucks.”

Lexa laughed, “Are you serious?!” 

“Dead”

“Priceless,” Lexa turned to Clarke and smiled, “She’s dating Raven, totally called it.” 

Clarke’s jaw dropped slightly as she let go of Lexa and almost ran into the main living room of the home where everyone else was. Octavia gave a once over glance to her sister in law, “Still got that bad feeling about the job.” 

A short nod, “Me too, same with Linc and Anya. We think we know why. That young DJ 3CH0, the one who had a few death threats made against her is playing there. Gustus was telling us that's why we got contracted for more muscle. We’re watching her, because apparently it's bad enough that her team is worried but this girl is headstrong and still wants to perform”

“Fuck….you think any of the threats are actually worth extra security.”

“They seem to think so. Hopefully they won’t be. C’mon they’re going to wonder why we haven’t come back. Go tease Anya I’ll bring you a beer. Also let me take that bottle of vodka you’re trying to hide from us.” 

“You know me too well. Thanks Octavia.” 

Lexa couldn’t remember how long they had been in the house or how many drinks she had but the group found themselves playing a very loud and rowdy game of cards against humanity. Or at least Clarke, Raven and Octavia where. The three siblings were in the kitchen talking softly so the other couldn’t hear. 

“Lincoln says you cut your hours and even gym days.”

“Yes.” 

“Care to explain why?”

“Anya it’s nothing.”

“Bullshit. Last time you did that was after  _ Her _ . You and Clarke fighting, you about to lose your job what.”

“Doctor’s orders. I’m finally following them.” 

Lincoln turned to look toward the living room after a small crash, most likely Octavia bumping into something or Raven throwing her card down onto the table a little too hard.

“Lexa, you’re telling me you are actually following a doctor's orders for once….how bad is it.”

Lexa sighed as Lincoln tuned back in, “Yeah Lexa, you haven’t even told me exactly how bad it is.”

“Fine. Doc. says same problems as last time are forming. Might need another surgery. The Cortisone shots aren’t working anymore. Neither are meds, without making me sick the next morning.”

“So back to square one pretty much.” 

“Pretty much.” 

“Does Clarke know?”

“No.”

Anya sighed, “You ever going to tell her?”

“Eventually. Just not now. She’s got school and her own job to worry about without having to worry about me.” 

“That’s not the way it looks to me.” 

“What do you mean?”

“Well I stole a glance at you guys as you walked in. She is already worrying about you, you might as well tell her what the hell is going on before it reaches the point of no return.”

The three fell silent and sipped quietly on their drinks while from the other room the three girls were yelling and laughing. 

When they re entered the living room Lexa took a seat on the couch only to have Clarke instantly move close and lay her head down on her girlfriend’s lap. Anya smirked at the gesture while Lexa rolled her eyes. Her sister wasn’t in any place to talk, Raven was sitting between her legs head resting back on her chest. Braced leg slightly elevated and Anya whispering things every now and then causing Raven to blush. Moments like these seemed perfect to Lexa even when Octavia stood up slightly drunk, “Hey! Lexa and Anya!” 

“Oh god what…” Anya groaned.

“If either of you break my friends heart even if I’m like your sister. I’ll beat your ass.”

The room filled with laughter even if Octavia’s threat was a real one, no one pictured anything ending in heartbreak or even an ass kicking. 


End file.
